Introduction

Pre-planning for funerals and choosing cemetery gravesites are sensitive topics that most individuals and families rarely speak of until the need arises. All too often, when a loved one dies, surviving family members are not prepared to decide important questions of funeral and burial. What preferences would our loved one have for funeral preparations? What kind of funeral would he/she want? Where should he/she be buried? Where is the money coming from to pay funeral expenses?

These and other concerns can be eliminated when we make prearrangements. The family has comfort in knowing that plans made are plans desired by the deceased, similar to executing a will that determines disposition of ones assets.

Ohev Shalom is one of the few synagogues in the area, (and the only one in Delaware County) to own a cemetery. In fact, not only do we own the well-kept cemetery on Brookhaven Road, but we also control a section at Mt. Lebanon cemetery in Collingdale. To discuss the purchase of burial plots at Ohev Shalom's cemetery, please contact executive director Michael Muderick at the synagogue.

We urge you to pre-plan funeral and burial arrangements according to the wise guidelines of Jewish tradition, which are detailed below. For any questions on these guidelines, please contact Rabbi Robbins at the synagogue. Also,you will find below excerpts from promotional material on pre-planning from Goldsteins' Rosenberg's Raphael-Sacks, which has been serving the Ohev Shalom community ably for over 50 years.

Finally, you will find below documents for Medical Directives should you lose the ability to make your own medical decisions and for Organ Donation. Please obtain copies, fill them out and store them where they can be found when necessary.

Traditional Jewish Funeral Practices

Many of us are unprepared for the death of a loved one, and are unclear about the guidelines that Jewish tradition provides for bringinsanctity to this difficult moment in our lives and for coping with it more easily.

In Jewish tradition funeral arrangements are guided by the concept of kevod hamet , honoring the dead. As a Conservative Rabbi of a Conservative congregation, I want to strongly encourage you to consider arrangements that are consistent with traditional ways of honoring the dead. Please designate these guidelines in your conversations on arrangement or pre-arrangement with representatives of Goldsteins' Funeral Home, which has served synagogue members ably for over 50 years, or another funeral home you choose.

A primary procedure is taharah , or ritual cleansing. In the Jewish community this sacred ritual is performed by the Chevrah Kadishah ("holy society"), a group of people - gender specific - who prepare the body for burial. All proceeds for their services are donated to Jewish educational causes in the Philadelphia area. When you authorize taharah , all of the other aspects discussed below will be included, and you will be in compliance with traditional Jewish funeral practices.

Even if you decide not to have taharah performed, you are strongly encourage you to follow each of these practices:
1. Select a casket made solely of wood, so the body can return to the "dust from which it came" (Genesis 3:19) as expediently as possible.
2. Embalming is contrary to Jewish law.
3. Have your loved one dressed in tachrichim , the traditional white burial shroud, rather than in a suit or dress. Males should be wrapped in a tallit , ideally the prayer shawl they used in life, over the shroud. Females should be wrapped in a tallit if it was their custom in life to wear a tallit in services.

4. Provide for a shomer , a guardian, who will sit watch over the body from the moment that preparation for burial is completed until the moment the body is transferred for the funeral service. It is traditional for family members to honor their loved one by taking shifts as shomer . Alternatively, Goldsteins' Funeral Home can arrange for a shomer for a small fee, which supports the livelihoods of recent Russian Jewish immigrants to the United States.
5. Flowers at a funeral service or burial are discouraged in Jewish law.
6. Viewing of the deceased is frowned upon in Jewish law. We remember the deceased as a living person, invigorated by his/her soul, not as a deceased corpse.

These guidelines reflect the highest ideals and sanctified rituals of Jewish tradition, and are consistent with how Jews have approached funeral/burial preparations for two millennia.

lf you have any questions or concerns about these practices, please call the Rabbi at the synagogue at 610-874-1465. In times of emergency, Rabbi Robbins can be reached on his cell phone at 610-291-1449.

Funeral Pre-Arrangements

(Excerpted from Goldsteins' promotional material)

Pre-arrangement is the act of planning a funeral service prior to the time it is needed. Today, more people are recognizing that planning ahead provides peace of mind and demonstrates love and consideration for the families. Pre-arrangement is a thoughtful decision that helps reduce the stress of indecision and uncertainty when a death occurs. It is also a natural part of estate planning decisions, such as creating wills and trusts.

How do I pay for pre-arranging a funeral?
You have a choice. You may pay a lump sum at one time or you may choose a plan in which you pay as little as 10 percent down with the balance to be paid within 24 months. There are no finance charges.

Why should I consider pre-arrangement for myself or a family member? Many people plan ahead because there's no one else available to make responsible decisions. Others do it for peace of mind, knowing they've made their wishes known, thus easing the
burden for their families. The sense of uncertainty is greatly reduced when arrangements are made early, with far less emotion. Pre-arrangement can also save you money. By pre-funding your arrangements now, you can lock in those funeral costs at today's prices, sparing your loved ones the added cost of inflation later on.

What is involved in making a pre-arrangement? Pre-arranging a funeral service gives you and your family the opportunity to identify personal wishes that will help create a special remembrance of your life. Write down your thoughts and any questions you feel are important. A member of our family will answer your questions, provide suggestions and explain all of your options. Vital information will also be noted, so it is ready when needed. Pre-arrangement can be discussed at any age and plans can be easily amended as your preferences or circumstances change.

How much time does it take to pre-arrange, and what does it cost? Pre-arranging a funeral service takes about an hour, and costs you nothing! We will listen to your ideas and preferences, then help turn them into plans you can be comfortable with. If you choose to set aside funds for the funeral, we can help with that too. We believe informed people make wiser decisions. This means offering the most complete range of services and helpful pre arrangement information, so you can make your own choices. We are family you can rely on, and were ready to help any time you ask.

I've decided to pre-arrange. What should I do now? First, discuss your thoughts about a funeral service with your family, and include them in your planning. A meaningful service should address their needs as well as your own. Then, give us a call. Well arrange a convenient time to meet and talk about your wishes, at either of our funeral homes or at your home. There is no fee for this consultation. In getting ready for the meeting, it will be helpful for you to have important information like birth and military records. Our goal is to help you make pre-arrangement choices which are right for you choices you can feel confident about and were ready to help any time you ask.

What happens to the money for the funeral I have pre-arranged? The monies are placed in an irrevocable trust in an FDIC insured banking institution. Interest that accrues is used to offset any increase in cost due to future inflation; guaranteeing that there will be no increase in the cost of the pre-arranged funeral.

Should I come alone to make pre-arrangements? Just as with other important decisions in life, your spouse was most likely deeply involved. Therefore, by all means, you and your spouse or closest family member should do this together.

Is this trust regulated by any government body? It is regulated by the Pennsylvania State Board of Funeral Directors in compliance with the Future Interment Provision of the Funeral Directors' Law in accordance with the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Also, just as a related aside, all licensed nursing homes in the state now require funeral pre-arrangements for residents covered under its Medicaid benefits program.

Will there be any additional charges at the time of the funeral? No, except if your heirs request additional services or merchandise.

Additionally, we recommend the pre-purchase of cemetery plots at Brookhaven Cemetery, or Mount Lebanon. Some congregants have felt a need to be with their families in a different cemetery. However, there are certain factors that you should consider: 1. The cost to members, for the Right of Reservation to plots in Brookhaven or Mt. Lebanon, is generally less than what you'd pay at another cemetery. 2. If you purchase the Right of Reservation, you avoid any inflation- those plots are yours. 3. Next-of-kin of a member also have the option to buy Right of Reservation. So a family can remain together, regardless of synagogue affiliation.

For more information call the Rabbi, the Executive Director, Al Mendel at Goldstein's at 215-927-5800, or Stanton Myerson, Cemetery Chair at 610-876-6817.

Medical Directives and Organ Donation

Please obtain copies, fill them out and store them where they can be found when necessary.

Download an Adobe Acrobat version of the using the links below. The PDF version will look exactly like the printed version you can obtain at the Office. If you don't have a cable modem or DSL line, the download of 500K to 900K will take a while. You'll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to view/print the PDF version.. If you don't have a copy, you can download it for free at this link: Download Adobe Acrobat Reader

There is also an HTML version which you can view immediately online with your web browser without downloading a large file. This version has all of the content of the PDF version with a table of contents and navigation buttons on the upper-left part of the screen, but the layout is sometimes a little scrambled.